


Disjointed Synergy

by Tht0neGal666



Series: Stone, Scroll, Shears [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Ambiguous Backstories, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Team Seven, BAMF Uchiha Sasuke, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Bell Test, Dark Haruno Sakura, Dark Uchiha Sasuke, Dark Uzumaki Naruto, Gen, I don't know how to tag this without spoiling their backstories, POV Hatake Kakashi, Protective Haruno Sakura, dark au, dark!Tam 7, mute uzumaki naruto, no BAMF kakashi because. he's depressed and underestimates them rip, these kids are fuuucked oops, uuhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-14 02:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tht0neGal666/pseuds/Tht0neGal666
Summary: "We will start when I say 'Start'. " He claimed, looking each of them in the eye. The Uchiha met his gaze as he had repeatedly done already. The Blonde did so after a moment of deliberation, stubborn tick in his jaw. The girl's eyes fell to the floor immediately."Get ready," He keyed up, thinking a final prayer that they would fail; he was absolutely certain that he wouldn't be a good influence on any of these kids. "Start!" He yelled, and all three of them shot off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NullLit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NullLit/gifts).

> WOW for someone who likes Team Kakashi a lot more then Kakashi himself, I sure do write from his perspective a lot oops. 
> 
> Um. I don't really have a real update schedule set up, but I *do* plan to upload *something* every monday/tuesdau for the forseeable future, so. Baby steps?
> 
> Gifted to NullLit because I thought they'd appreciate it. Hope you enjoy!

"My first impression of you is..." Kakashi starts, observing the three graduates he's been assigned to. The blonde stared at him with fear and threat in equal measures, eyes a tad too wide to be natural as they searched for Sage knows what. The Uchiha glared at him with caution and suspicion, finger twitching, already looking to pick him apart for weakness. The girl gave a fake smile, masking a disturbing blankness. _'You all need therapy' _ is his first thought, quite honestly, but he knew better then to be the pot calling the kettle black. "...I hate you." He finishes, his planned first words to the group, to gauge their emotional responses to such sentiments. They were common towards Shinobi, after all.

The blonde flinched back at the claim, eyes never slipping an inch higher or lower then Kakashi's chin. The Uchiha's hand twitched again, and he was the only one that stared Kakashi in the eye. The girl's expression fell into a confusion for a split second before the same smile twisted her face again, but she shifted to be between himself and her new team mates. The blonde's breath hitched in surprise at the protective move, but did not move his gaze.

Kakashi bit back a sigh, hoped against hope that they wouldn't pass the real test, and told them to meet him on the roof. 

He was joined first by the girl, though the two boys followed soon after. The blonde remained a few steps behind her, just out of reach, but still using her as a human shield of sorts. She didn't seem to mind, footsteps silent and eyes on the Uchiha when he fell into step beside her. His gaze focused automatically on Kakashi, the girl followed his example, and the blonde followed hers.

It was uncanny and impressive, how the three wild card outliers of the class, thrown together largely because they couldn't risk any main family clan kids being on the same team as any one of the volatile trio, rallied so seamlessly when faced with a common threat. Even if said threat was their (potential) Jonnin instructor.

(in hindsight, he could see how, with these three especially, 'I hate you' might not have been the best way to start off.)

"Why don't you introduce yourselves?" Kakashi prompted, only to be met with silence for several long seconds. The girl eventually opened her mouth, only to be forcefully cut off by the Uchiha.

"You first." The boy demanded, and the blonde nodded immediately. The girl didn't say anything, but shut her mouth and waited with the other two.

"I'm Hatake Kakashi." He started, and the Uchiha's eyes gleamed. The other two didn't react, but the girl's non-reaction felt...disingenuous, somehow. "I have no intention of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream....I have a few hobbies." He shrugged, a practiced introduction. The three glares sharpened a bit at the avoidance, and he gave a close eyed smile in return.

"I am Haruno Sakura. I like reading, plants, and training. I dislike spiders, cowardice, and clothing that limits mobility. My dream is to serve Konohagakure. My hobbies are reading and gardening." She recited, and her introduction felt even more practiced then his own. Her Uncanny not-actually-a-smile stayed stuck to her face. He nodded and looked next to the Uchiha.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things I hate. There are not many I like. I have an ambition I have no intentions of leaving as a dream. I will avenge my clan at the cost of the death of A Certain Man." he introduced, tunnel vision clear as day. He nodded and moved his gaze to the blonde, who frowned and shook his head.

"He's not going to talk." One of the others interjected, he couldn't say who. Wise word choice though, not confirming or denying any suspicions he could have had. He hadn't read their files, preferring to have a clear first impression of them, but he thinks that may have been a misstep.

"Why not?" He inquired, looking over all three of them, but no one answered. "Would you write it down?" He asked the blonde, carefully deciding to pick his battles. He had a feeling it would be a valuable skill if he was going to be a Jonnin Sensei. He was still holding out hope he wouldn't.

The blonde hesitated, but inclined his head with an ever so slightly nervous smile curling the tips of his lips. Kakashi handed over a small notepad and pencil. The boy took both cautiously, hand not brushing against Kakashi's. The girl turned to offer the blonde more cover, as he reluctantly broke his gaze from Kakashi and started writing. 

Kakashi tried to calm them, relaxing lazily, presenting himself as a non-threat as clearly as possible. It seemed to relax the blonde when he looked back up at Kakashi, but the other two didn't seem to be fooled. Kakashi got the notepad back, and grimaced.

The blonde's handwriting was horrendous, and even when he could understand the letters the spelling was incomprehensible. Trying to read it was a task best left for the cipher-breakers in T&I or first year academy teachers.

He frowned as he looked up at the boy, fidgeting anxiously, eyes focused back on his chin again. He was again out of reach of his teammates, but only just so.

The blonde could understand what they were saying, that much was clear, but he couldn't write, Kakashi doubted he was taught any sort of sign language, and he either couldn't or wouldn't speak. He didn't have a reliable way to communicate, but he was able to take orders. Even as a Shinobi, Kakashi didn't like the implications of that.

He had been thinking about it for too long, though, because the boy suddenly looked ready to bolt. Kakashi gave a casual shrug. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to work on that." He said cheerfully. "That is, of course, if you three become actual Gennin."

"What?" The Uchiha growled, glare sharpening. Perhaps, had Kakashi not been a main target of scorn for dozens of Uchiha since he was 14, it may have had any effect on him. As it was, he just chuckled at the ravenette.

"Out of the 27 graduates, only 9 of them will become Gennin. The other 18 will be sent back to the Academy." He informed the three of them. The Uchiha looked just about ready to set him on fire, the blonde was practically vibrating in place, and the girl's grin fell into a blank look again. "In other words, there will be a survival training exercise that serves as your final Gennin Test, with a 66% failure rate."

"What were the Academy Exams for, then?" The Pinkette asked, tilting her head, and Kakashi shrugged.

"Oh, those? Those were just to test if you were qualified to become gennin. This is more to weed out those good in theory but not in practice, by my own judgement." A fake smile slithering onto the girl's face again, the Uchiha straightened his stance, and the blonde was gnawing on his lip with an uncannily sharp tooth, but they didn't question him further. He gave a final nod and rolled on his heels. 

"Bring your ninja equipment and meet me at 5 in the morning on training ground 13." He ordered, and the girl straightened to match the Uchiha at his tone. The blonde appeared to be just mimicking her actions by now, as he followed suit. Kakashi turned his back to the three, about to Shun-shin away as he threw one last comment over his shoulder. "Oh yeah, and don't eat breakfast. You'll throw up."


	2. Chapter 2

at 8 am sharp, Kakashi strolled onto Training ground 13. It was adjacent to the memorial stone, out of direct sight-line from the village, and mostly made of trees. Great place.

"Yo." He greeted, one hand in his pocket and the other waving as he stepped out from behind a tree.

"You're late." The girl said matter-of-factly, but the blonde looked ready to go for Kakashi's throat had the girl not planted herself between the two of them. The Uchiha's eyes were already at Kakashi's, and he could almost attest to spotting a gleam of red within them.

"Maa, well, a black cat crossed my path." He justified, not even looking at them for a reaction as he moved over to an alarm clock he had a bushin place while he said good morning. "This is an alarm set for 12 o'clock. Your mission is to get at least one of these bells from me before the timer goes off. Whoever can't will have no lunch and be sent back to the academy. I will tie you there," he said, pointing at the three logs, "and eat lunch in front of you." He layed out. The odd gennin processed the information silently for a moment. The blonde snarled.

"...Hatake-Sensei, there are only two bells." The girl pointed out, head tilted again as she pointed out what all three of them were probably thinking.

"No matter what, one person will be tied to the log." He confirmed the implied question, and she nodded. "That person will fail, since they failed to complete the mission. They will go back to the academy." The girl nodded like this was perfectly logical, the blonde looked horrified, and the Uchiha finally seemed to be paying attention. "It may be only one of you, or it may be all three." He shook the bells, taunting the gennin a little. "You may use Shuriken, Kunai, or any other weapons at your disposal. You will not be able to get these unless you come at me with the intent to kill." He swore. 

None of them protested, though the blonde looked concerned and the girl looked uncertain. It'll do.

"We will start when I say 'Start'. " He claimed, looking each of them in the eye. The Uchiha met his gaze as he had repeatedly done already. The Blonde did so after a moment of deliberation, stubborn tick in his jaw. The girl's eyes fell to the floor immediately.

"Get ready," He keyed up, thinking a final prayer that they would fail; he was absolutely certain that he wouldn't be a good influence on any of these kids. "Start!" He yelled, and all three of them shot off.

Kakashi was reluctantly impressed; it took him entire seconds longer then he thought it would to locate the academy graduates. All three of them were surprisingly good at concealing their chakra, and the girl and Uchiha were both spinning genjutsu to hide themselves. The girl even used a C-rank that compelled his eyes to slip right over her and the blonde that had followed right behind her.

Well, as long as he was waiting for them to make their move, he might as well get some reading in. Kakashi shrugged and pulled an orange book from his Kunai pouch and started reading where he left off as he wanders into the forest around the training ground.

Nearly ten minutes elapse, and, were he any lesser shinobi, that would have been ample time for him to get lost in his book and lower his guard. The Uchiha clearly has a similar thought, as Shuriken suddenly come flying for him. The chakra signatures of the blonde and the girl are gone, placed near the starting area but not close enough to the food to intervene. He replaced himself with a log at the last second, reappearing right in front of the ravenette.

"Shinobi Tactic Number 1: Taijutsu." Kakashi informed the boy as he reflexively threw more shuriken at Kakashi's voice before he even turned. If nothing else, the last Uchiha had good instincts. Kakashi supposed he had to, if the rumors were true.

He ignored the twitch of his own finger to grab a Kunai and deflect them and instead dodged each weapon individualy, barely even moving from his spot.

"Maa, you're the first one to try for a bell, ya know." Kakashi continued when the Uchiha remained silent. "You even waited for me to presumably lower my guard. Smart." He praised uncertainly. He really was bad with kids, and the decision to give him a gennin team (especially _this _gennin team) was a mistake.

The boy didn't respond as his attack continued and, Kakashi had to admit, his attack was admirable. Well thought out, backed up by skill, no hesitation in trying to kill him. There were moments where Kakashi couldn't split his attention from the fight at all, not even to read _Icha Icha_, so he did not notice the two kunai from out of nowhere until it was too late. 

Both bells were pinned to a tree and then in the girl's hand in a blink, and the girl had flashed over to the blonde that threw the Shuriken to give him a bell before Kakashi could safely disengage with the Uchiha. 

When he finally was able to pull back, he looked over the three academy graduates. The blonde looked smug and absolutely delighted, making taunting faces at the ravenette. The Uchiha, in contrast, was absolutely livid; he looked ready to go for the blonde's throat, even with the girl standing carefully between them. The girl had an almost worried look on her face; maybe guilt at throwing the Uchiha under the bus?

Kakashi let out a sigh to get their attention. "Maa, well done you two!" He chirped with mock cheer, "And you did your best as well, I guess." He tagged on with a dismissive glance at the Uchiha. "Meet me back in the clearing for lunch. Or, at least, lunch for those with the bells." He waved and Shunshinned back to the logs. 

While collecting the lunches, something shiny and dismantled caught his eye. He went closer to inspect it, and blinked in shock. While the Uchiha was lying in wait to complete the mission, the other two brats had doubled back and increased their chances of success by removing a constraint of their mission in a way he hadn't even considered. 

Speaking of the brats, there were no fluctuations in their chakra to indicate a fight had broken out. That was also unexpected; he was sure the Uchiha would attack one of them to steal a bell. Curious but patient, he laid out two lunches and started to eat his own until the other three chakra signatures reached the clearing.

"So! Who are the lucky winners?" He asked. The blonde's mood had plumatted in the short minutes since he last saw the boy, despite the bell still shining in his hand. The girl was passive, sporting only the barest hints of satisfaction. The Uchiha looked bewildered but content, as another bell rested in his hand.

Neither boy stepped forward. The blonde looked about ready to try and beat up the Uchiha and give the second bell back to the girl, but the girl took that moment to step back and push them both forward.

"Uzumaki-san and Uchiha-san got the bells, Hatake-san." Sakura pointed out blankly. Kakashi nodded, smiling at the boys and handing them lunches.

"I see. Wonderful work, boys. I suppose I'm stuck with the two of you now." He huffed, tying an oddly complacent Sakura to a log. "Remember Sakura failed the mission. Don't feed her- she didn't earn it. I will be back shortly with the forms to re-enroll Sakura-chan into the Academy. If either of you feed her, you will be sent back to the academy with her." He warned darkly, going as far as to release a hint of killing intent to back up his words. Both boy's eyes glazed over, for a moment, and he took the opportunity to Shun-shin away and conceal his chakra, watching from the trees.

Not even a minute after he left, the blonde's eyes darted back and forth, as if trying to find him. Apparently satisfied with his survey, He rose a bite of food to Sakura. Sasuke saw the blonde and grunted, looking away, but he wove a Genjutsu around the other two Graduates that concealed the disobedient action. Kakashi peered through it without breaking it, and watched Sakura _insist, _in a tone that almost suggested emotion,that she couldn't eat it because it was against the rules Kakashi set and it would needlessly scatter Naruto's chance at being a ninja. He had already failed the exam three times, after all. Naruto, much to Kakashi's amusement and chagrin, seemed to grow annoyed with what the girl was saying, and shoved the bite into her mouth defiantly while she was robotically reciting Kakashi's exact words.

_well, shit_. Kakashi thought ruefully, watching the antics of his _Gennin Team_ (did he mention this was a bad idea in every sense of the word?) and muttering a genjutsu that darkened the sky ominiously. Might as well scare the little brats, if he would actually have to put up with them. _They passed._


End file.
